Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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