i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
