ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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