I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she told me i tasted like america
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
