please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
