she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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