Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
