yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
