Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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