Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
