marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
