Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
