I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
