people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
