So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
