You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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