i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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