I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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