I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
