i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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