Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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