Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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