I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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