There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
