why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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