At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
