Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize