I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
