Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize