And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize