omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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