Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's like heaven, but drunker
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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