Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
