they need to just BURY HIM!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
