whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
