Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
