I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
