True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
