no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
