Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
