It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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