I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize