She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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