Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
