the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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