There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
well you can't waste a boner
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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