I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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