i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
