It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize