He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He better not be in your backpack
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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