maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
