I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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