Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
