he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
